Extract from the book, “Life& Society”

Yesterday evening I thought over everything a lot and then concluded that the reality is my existing situation and rest everything is fairy tale unless any breakthrough happens. To be bluntly straight, my current situation is that I am unable to pay even a few bugs when anyone asks me for. I am trying through all my channels to come out of this situation but it is not going anywhere till now. Most of my earlier channels do not respond due to various other reasons. One or two have perished due to our reliance on inefficient resources. You people might be feeling you are being fooled around but this is the fact. I do everything in front of you. I know it very well that I am not able to keep anyone on payroll unless I have some breakthrough. Currently I am in discussion with a lot of people and frankly speaking I do not know even I will get break through from any. I have started various things but end of the day I know that only money drives money and hence I am trying in this direction as well. Results are not in my hands; my job is just to keep trying.

As far as my understanding with the ongoing lead goes, which you might have also realized, that he seems to be just playing with us as everyday he has something new to discuss. Day before yesterday, he was over bent on farming, yesterday on khoj, today on something and tomorrow never comes. Still I am trying to get something out of nowhere.

I am not trying to say anything absurd for any hidden agenda. All these are just before your eyes. Regarding farming, I do not know how a person, who pledges so much for IT and is not able to conclude any, can do anything on local funding to the tune of such a huge amount and more and that too when his financial expectations are too ambitious. Anyway, I am saying all this just to let you know that I am what you see me as. I do not expect anything out of you anywhere. I am well aware of this fact that you have a bad experience earlier and believe me, I have uncountable bad experiences.

On farming, I have decided to wait for some more time rather than jumping on anything without base. Firstly, I will concentrate on my capacity building and then I will see what all I can do. I will definitely keep on talking for any possible avenues. Let’s see how things shape up and how far I can go as I know I have my limitations as well, as a person.

This is what it is as far as my state goes. Now it is your call to think and analyze. If you believe that we can jointly do anything, well and good. If you believe that you are going for a similar experience here like before, you are better judge.

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